Article # 2

based on the interview with Barbara-Lynn Taylor, M.Ed. on “Raising Your Kids”

Aired on WXII-12

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

SOME SPECIFIC STRATEGIES IF HOMEWORK IS A PROBLEM IN YOUR HOME

from “Taming the Homework Monster”, Part Five of the video-based parenting program, Successful Parenting

The first thing parents should do if homework is a problem in their homes, is to sit down and have a calm, open, and honest talk with their children. They should make a point of really listening, not trying to make their own points by lecturing or threatening. Often, when we truly listen to our children, we hear the key to the problem right there and steps can begin to be taken to solve it.

Parents should also make a point of communicating with the child’s teachers. Remember, school success takes teamwork. This contact may be by phone, e-mail, letter, or in person, but it is important that the parents understand the teacher’s point of view and that the teacher gains information necessary to understand the parents’ point of view. In a composed and professional manner, the team should discuss the amount and the level of the assignments for that particular child. Parents and teachers may not always agree, but, as adults, they need to be able to discuss issues pertaining to the student.

For various reasons, an assignment that might take one child ten minutes to complete could take another child thirty minutes. In that case, modifications might have to be made such as having someone read or scribe the material, teaching the child to keyboard, or even having the child complete the assignment orally. Because they have been tested and found to have special learning differences, some children may even have what’s called an I.E.P. or a 504, which mandates modifications for that particular child. Parents and teachers need to be aware of those modifications and follow them so the child will have the best chance of success.

It is always a good idea to be sure that medical reasons are not contributing to homework or even class work problems. Parents should have their child’s vision, hearing, and general health screened to be sure that there isn’t a medical reason why problems are occurring. Sometimes something as simple as preferential seating, treating an ear infection, or a pair of glasses can make all the difference!

The parents’ attitude is one of the most important factors in whether a child completes and turns in homework every day. This attitude can be conveyed by words and by actions. Certainly if parents say that an assignment, or even the teacher who made it, is “stupid” (or some other derogatory adjective), the child will tend to agree with that and most likely will not value or even do the homework. In addition to that, it has been shown that our children learn much more by what we do than what we say, so if it’s the parents’ actions that convey that homework or school is not important, the child will most likely share that opinion. From that point on, it may be difficult to convince that student to study. So, the attitude parents have and convey is critical to the success of homework and school in general.

But in the real world, parents and teachers may disagree. What should the parents do if they disagree with the homework a teacher is assigning or see that the homework is too much or too difficult for their child?

They should schedule a conference with the teacher and then, in an well thought-out and relaxed manner, they should discuss it with the teacher, reach a solution they can both agree upon, and then communicate it to the student. If no common ground can be found, perhaps a third party such as a member of the administration could join the discussion and offer suggestions. Once decisions are reached, they should be presented to the student, assuring him/her that this solution is acceptable to the parents and to the teacher so the student doesn’t have to decide which one to please or with whom to align. It is not in the students’ best interest to put them in the middle of a disagreement between the parent and the teacher. That may cause intense stress and is a no-win situation for the student. Somehow, parents and teachers do need to function as an adult team for the sake of the students.

Sometimes it’s a different scenario that occurs, it has to do with behavior modification, and it might come into play in homework situations. We are all motivated. Children are motivated……just not always in the direction in which we want them to be. They want to get attention and to feel popular. Most of the time, they get attention by doing the right things, like doing homework. But, sometimes, they find they can get attention by going against the system, like by not doing or turning in their homework. They may realize they’ll get attention from the teacher and/or the parents, even if it is negative attention. Sometimes, they think they’ll be viewed as “cool” by the other students if they “buck” the system. Something they enjoy saying things in an effort to get a laugh like, “My dog ate it!” If the other students react at all to this, the children find they can get attention. The trick for us parents and teachers is to make sure it is rewarding for children to do it right and that doing it wrong causes some kind of discomfort like loss of attention, privileges, or popularity.

So, understanding all of that, we have to realize that most of the time there is a correctible reason for why children are not doing or turning in homework. It is not just to drive us crazy!

In this article, we have seen some of the first strategies parents should use if homework is a problem in their homes. Come back to this website next Wednesday, February 25 right after the “Raising Your Kids” segment on WXII-12 Television at 6:30 am for “BLT’s 10 Point Checklist For Fixing Homework Problems”.

By Barbara-Lynn Taylor, M.Ed

NOTE: Barbara-Lynn will be joining Chris and Kimberly every Wednesday morning at 6:30 on WXII-12 for “Raising Your Kids”. Next week we’ll begin to give specific ideas on what to do if homework is a problem at your house.

If you have comments, questions, or would like to share your best parenting practices with reference to homework, please e-mail Barbara-Lynn at blt@successfulparenting.